yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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