I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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