and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize