the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
well you can't waste a boner
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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