I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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