My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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