I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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