I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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