Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My penis needs a shock collar
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
