but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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