Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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