so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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