help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize