I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
