plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
