I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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