Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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