Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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