Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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