Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
