Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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