And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
