Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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