i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
