PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
