I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
