I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
