Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
