I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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