awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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