Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
