You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
