they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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