Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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