The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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