i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
