pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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