is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How naked do you want me to be?
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