dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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