my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
