I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
