i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
