end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
