i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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