white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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