oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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