I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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