I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
