so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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