I got chris browned last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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