I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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