Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
