He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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