I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
