so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
