If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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