this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
